Homemade Fascia Blaster Alternative DIY

Fascia blasting is a super powerful and effective tool for sculpturing your body. It will help you on every step along your journey to a good-looking body. Regardless of either you’re trying to reduce your postpartum overhang belly, beat cellulite or to blast off last stubborn fat cells on your “almost” perfect six-pack, you will see results from blasting.

About fascia blaster

Photo source: fasciablaster.com On the photo: Ashley Black

The creator of Fasciablasting is Ashley Black “Guru”. You can find everything on the topic on her website fasciablaster.com including fascia blaster reviews, as well as order the original fascia blaster and related products.

If you want to know my opinion about “does the fascia blaster really work”? Yes it does. But you can also check numerous videos on YouTube, including astonishing before and after photos. And don’t trust reviews from Amazon, as none of them from verified purchase and it all seems like a competitor’s paid campaign to discredit the product. As well as other fascia blaster scam claims and complaints that after some deeper research showed to be based on nothing.

 N.B. I have no affiliation with Ashley Black or her products, just sharing my research on the topic of fascia rollers and their effectiveness before deciding if I want to try one.

But if you landed on this page on purpose, you know that fascia blaster is expensive (around 100$ with shipping and tax). If you can’t pay that price, but really want to be able to fascia blast. You have two cheaper alternatives:

  • To use fascia blasting technique with stick roller or/and octopus hand massagers, that are readily available for purchase, like this one or this one, or…
  • To make your own fat and connective tissue roller that will perform similarly to original and will cost at list 3 times less.

 The second option seemed more attractive to me. So I started to search for ideas on how I can make my own fascia roller for cellulite.  And I can tell you, I was very pleased with the end result. Hopefully, you will be too.

How to make your own fascia roller

Supplies:

  • Wooden rod – I used handle from toilet plunger. I bought mine at Walmart for 3-4$. The closest thing I found on Amazon is this one. But to be sure that everything will fit perfectly, here’s measurements of my rod: Length – 18’’ (45.5cm), Diameter – 7/8’’ (2.2cm), Circumference – 2 3/4’’ (7cm)

I read that some people have used broom sticks for that purpose also successfully. But you will need to cut it to desired length. I find length anywhere between 18 and 20’’ to be optimal.

  • Three octopus hand massagers – I used these.  You won’t know the color of massagers until you receive them and the shipping is long, but it’s the cheapest option. Check other offers on these massager too as they change constantly.
  • Bicycle handles (for kids bikes) These handles fit my rod like they were created for it. Plus they come in many colors so you can choose your favorite or the one matching massagers you will get.
  • Fender washers 6 pcs. – for these octopus massagers 3/16’’x 1 ¼’’ fender washers are the perfect fit. You can buy them at any hardware store or online here, or you, probably, have them already.
  • Flat screws 1 ½’’ and nuts – You need 3 flat screws and 3 nuts. I used screws that left from previous project, but I would say #6 screws like these should be a good fit for the purpose.

Equipment:

  • Power drill
  • Pencil
  • Ruler
  • Screwdriver
  • Wrench or pliers

How to assemble your fascia massager:

  • Remove rubber head from a plunger stick
  • Slip bike handles on the stick.
  • Unscrew heads from octopus massagers
  • Measure center of the stick and mark it with the pencil.
  • Position your massagers evenly on the stick with central one over your mark.
  • Mark the center points for two other octopuses. With 18’’ rod you will have your massagers overlap and positioned roughly 1-1 ½’’ from the end of rubber handles.
  • Drill holes in the plunger stick. The hole should be slightly larger than your screw size.
  • Insert screw into the fender washer, then into “belly” of the octopus, then another fender washer and insert this “sandwich” into the drilled hole. You can use a hammer (be gentle) to help the crew getting in to the hole.
  • Secure screw with a nut using your fingers. Tighten the nut by holding it with a wrench or pliers and using screw driver on the other side.
  • Voila, your personal fascia wonder stick is ready!

Now nothing holds you back from working your fascia, breaking your cellulite deposits and blasting fat cells.

 

And, please, share your success or fails on making your personal fascia massager in comments below, as it can help others.

See More Here: Homemade Fascia Blaster Alternative DIY

5 Steps To Burn Fat Fast with Keto Diet Meal Plan

The Keto diet or Ketogenic Diet has recently become quite popular for methods to lose excess fat and slim down or tone up.

Im sure if youve heard of the Keto Diet then you also know that its carb-free. Yes this is true for the most part. However there is much more too it, including the fact that this carb-free diet is one of the quickest, most successful methods to burn fat!

So What Exactly Is Keto Diet?

The Ketogenic diet is a true fat loss diet that works undoubtedly, if followed accordingly and strictly. The diet consists of a food diet plan rich in fats, high-quality proteins, and extremely low in carbohydrates. When you are on Keto and your body isnt consuming carbs, it will mistake fat instead of carbs. So with little to no carbs in your system, your body will start burning fat and breaking it down into Ketone bodies which in the end converts fat into healthy energy-boosters.

The Science Behind Keto

 

keto diet pie chart

 

The main objective during this diet is to put your body into Ketosis.

What is Ketosis?

Ketosis is basically a buildup of Ketones in your bloodstream where your body produces Ketones for fuel. When this occurs the concentration of your blood Ketone levels is higher than your glucose concentration levels. Your Pancreas will start producing glucagon since Ketosis drastically lowers insulin levels

What this means is that your body will start going into a powerful fat burning mode.

When your insulin production is at almost zero, the amount of Glucagon is increased greatly. At this point in the ketogenic diet, your bodys fat burning ability is kicked in to high gear and fat storage is brought to a halt. By restricting your carb intake and eating strictly fats and proteins, you will inevitably put your body into Ketosis within just a few days!

5 Steps to Burn Fat Fast on Keto Diet!

Step 1: Eat The Proper Keto Diet Foods

 

keto diet meal plan

While on Keto, you can only consume 20-30 grams of carbohydrates each day or only 5% of your daily calories. You will need to consume foods that are high-quality proteins and fats.

Here is a list of great Keto diet foods:

Vegetables:

  • Broccoli
  • Celery
  • Asparagus
  • Lettuce
  • Spinach
  • Cucumbers

Meats and Dairy:

  • Pork
  • Beef
  • Chicken
  • Fish
  • Ham
  • Cheese
  • Butter
  • Mayo

Other foods:

  • Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  • Nuts
  • Peanut Butter

Step 2: Stick to a strict Keto diet plan

The most important part is to follow a strict Keto diet meal plan. Get over to the grocery store and buy specific foods that you will eat daily broken down into specific meals throughout the day.

Here is a well known professional bodybuilder, Dave Palumbos Keto Diet meal plan:

(This keto diet plan is for a 200lb man)

*Side Note* This diet is a bodybuilders diet. The protein listed is excessive for the average person.

Meal #1:

  • 5 whole eggs; 4 egg whites
  • (50 grams protein, 20 grams fat)

Meal #2:

  • Protein Shake (50 grams whey protein, 1.5 tablespoon Natural Peanut Butter)
  • (55 grams protein, 12 grams fat)

Meal #3:

  • Lean Protein Meal 8 oz chicken with 1/2 cup almonds
  • (50 grams protein, 16 grams fat)

Meal #4:

  • Protein Shake (50 grams whey protein, 1.5 tablespoon Natural Peanut Butter)
  • (55 grams protein, 12 grams fat)

Meal #5:

  • Fatty Protein Meal 8oz Salmon, Swordfish or Red Meat with green salad. 1 tablespoon of Olive Oil and vinegar
  • (45 grams protein, 30 grams fat)

Meal #6

  • Protein Shake (50 grams whey protein, 1.5 tablespoon Natural Peanut Butter) or 4 whole eggs and 4 extra egg whites
  • (55 grams protein, 12 grams fat)

Total: 310 grams protein, 102 grams fat, less than 5% carbs.

Here is another sample keto diet meal plan with less protein and more basic:

Meal #1

  • 2 hard boiled eggs
  • 2 turkey sausages

Meal #2

  • Turkey burger
  • 1 cup spinach
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • drizzle balsamic vinegar, 10 almonds

Meal #3

  • Chicken breast
  • green beans
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • drizzle balsamic vinegar

Meal #4

  • Sting cheese
  • beef jerky

Meal #5

  • Salmon
  • asparagus and olive oil vinegar dressing again

 

**Other keto diet meals to consider:

  • Buffalo chicken with blue cheese
  • Grilled chicken with olive oil and green beans
  • Tuna with mayo and celery
  • Chicken Caesar salad
  • Ham, egg whites and cheddar cheese
  • Cheeseburger with green beans

Step 3: Exercise while on Keto diet

keto workout routine

Hit the gym with high intensity or go for a run while on keto diet. If you are going to commit yourself to a strict keto diet plan, then you mind as well go all out for the time period you are doing it for. Workout for at least an hour 5 days a week to produce maximum weight loss results while on Keto. Split your workout routine into half cardio and half weight training.

Step 4: Take a Thermogenic Fat Burner

 

top 10 fat-burner supplements

Keto diet alone is an extremely powerful fat burning diet. However, to increase the results in a shorter period of time, taking a thermogenic fat burner supplement can definitely help. It will accelerate your keto diet results!

Step 5: Stay Committed, Think of Your End Goal!

When you set your mind to ultimately starting and going through keto diet, always keep your mind on your end goal.

Why are you doing this diet in the first place?

Because you want to lose that excess body fat, slim down or tone up.  The diet will work and will burn pounds of fat, but you need to stay committed to the diet and dont cheat. If you cheat, youll only be cheating yourself!

Eating carb-free will be a pain in the you know what at times and you will have that urge to indulge in carb foods and quit the diet. But just stay consistent with it and every time you have that urge, think about how much better youll be after the diet is over. Think about how better youll feel and how tone youll look.

*** I have a couple of friends who went through Keto successfully and they both lost 10+ pounds of fat. I know how hard it was for them at times, because they told me all about it. But in the end, the physique they have now it was 110% worth going through!

Stay Focused!

Artilce Source Here: 5 Steps To Burn Fat Fast with Keto Diet Meal Plan

Infinity IT-8500 Review

Infinity IT-8500 is an awesome chair in the price range. You will get all important features without paying $10,000 for a chair. No wonder that it’s so popular, check all this positive reviews of this whole body chair and you will be sold on it.

  • Quad S-track Rollers – IT-8500 has a pretty long 30’’ S-track that allows reaching further on your lower back and neck area.
  • Zerogravity – 2 zero-gravity position with a full recline of the chair back that helps to decompress spine more efficiently.
  • Air-cell – complete body massage with 38 air-bags, with superb hip sway and neck twisting. Plus spinal correction feature, when your shoulders are press by airbags and worked with rollers.
  • Mechanical Foot Rollers – 3 foot rollers for stronger feet massage.
  • Body Scan – spinal rollers mapping user’s spine before each session for more precise massage.
  • Tru-Grip V Stretch – stretch program that keep your body in place with airbags and folding you in V-shape and back.
  • Lumbar Heat – the must-have feature for low-back issues.
  • Speakers and Mp3 Player – play your favorite music from USB flash-drive through built-in speakers or connect your headphones.
  • The longest program – most chairs have programs ranging between 5-30 minutes. This chair allows you to run a program up to 45 minutes without returning to vertical position, longer than any other chair on market.
  • Equally comfortable for short and tall people – this chair is good for people ranging from 4’11’’ to 6’5’’. Tall people with wide shoulders (~22’’) will feel comfortable too.
  • Color options – available in Chocolate Brown, Black and Taupe

The main drawback of this chair – it has no 3D roller, though newer model IT-8500 3X (cost $1,000-1,500 more) has it, as well as Bluetooth connectivity (absent in IT-8500). Otherwise Infinity IT-8500 3X is the same as IT-8500, so you can consider it too.

Many buyers complaint that chair is bulky, heavy and hard to assemble, so it’s better to have white-glove delivery for this one. Other users don’t like that chair is returning in upright position after it finished a program, not giving a chance for user to relax or nap after session.

Other than that the chair works great, nicely doing all it’s supposed to do.

Read full guide at: http://www.wellnessgeeky.com/best-massage-chair

See More Here: Infinity IT-8500 Review

Human Touch Novo XT Review

Human Touch Novo XT is the most up-scale chair made by Human Touch, company that is already 4 decades on the market with various products. Despite so long history Novo line is their first line that can compete with Luraco, Osaki and others.

NovoXT was released only in November 2016, replacing Human Touch Novo model. Novo has 2D track instead of 3D

Main features of Novo XT:

  • 3D Unibody L-track – Human Touch NovoXT is the first chair that has 3D L-track, providing with thorough 3D massage from head to thighs with strength that can be regulated.
  • Foot rollers – this chair also has foot rollers giving a pretty intense massage to your feet with intensity that be adjusted or they can be switched off completely.
  • Airbag – exceptional full body airbag Human Touch calls “Aircloud”, with sequential inflation and ability to stimulate acupoints, as well as strength adjustment.
  • Lumbar Heat – your low back area is relaxed with Human Touch’s proprietary warm air technology for better overall experience.
  • Full body stretch – the bands and stretches your body brining flexibility and relaxation to the whole body.
  • Color options – Novo XT available in wide verity of colors to satisfy any taste: grey, cream, red, brown and black.
  • 34 Auto Programs– the highest number of automated programs found in electric chairs, including full-body immersion, deep tissue and an effective collection of therapeutic relaxation and recovery programs surely satisfy your needs and preferences.
  • Zero gravity – Novo XT performs massage in zero-gravity position for added low back relaxation.
  • Speakers and Bluetooth – Built-in speakers and Bluetooth connectivity will allow you to play your favorite music straight from your smartphone.
  • Easy-to-use LCD Remote Control – the remote that is very easy to operate intuitively without previous experience.
  • Wall-hanger Design – with sliding forward mechanism Novo XT requires only 2’’ clearance from the wall, unlike other chairs, which need up to 27’’ of space behind the chair.
  • Max User’s Height of 6’9’’ – Human Touch sets the record on user’s height with its NovoXT, as no other chair go beyond 6’7’’.
  • Fully Assembled – you can start enjoying your chair the minute it’s taken out of the box as it comes fully assembled.
  • Exceptional warranty – NovoXT comes with exceptional 5 year total warranty that covers in-home labor, parts and frame.

All above features make a great chair, and one of the best on the current market, but any even the most perfect chair has its flaws.

The biggest drawback is that it’s made in China. But with remembering that it’s manufactured under the respected name of Human Touch with good customer support and rare 5-year full warranty, should give you some piece of mind.

Another drawback of this chair is that it’s heavy and bulky. But that’s a price you need to pay in order to have fully assembled chair with space saving feature. The speakers’ sound quality of Human Touch’s chair is inferior to Luraco iRobotics 7 and it has no body detection system. You need to choose appropriate user’s height program manually. Plus, NovoXT can’t adjust strength in automatic programs that could be inconvenient for many of us.

You also need to know that this chair is a younger step-brother of Infinity Iyashi, as it’s made on the same factories as Iyashi. In fact, if you’ve seen Iyashi, you would realize that they have many things in common, like remote control look, L-track (NovoXT’s track is shorter but it has 3D rollers), sliding base that enables space saving feature, hip twist feature and Bluetooth speakers.

To summarize, Human Touch is an excellent chair with many great feature. It’s a runner-up to iRobotics7 due to lower level of customization it can provide, absence of seat and feet heat, absence of body detection technology, and Chinese assembly. But it is a winner in space-saving cool modern design with availability in wider range of colors and longer insurance.

Discover top rated models at: http://www.wellnessgeeky.com/best-massage-chair

Read Full Article Here: Human Touch Novo XT Review

Luraco Irobotics I7 Review (Best Chair in 2017)

Luraco Technologies iRobotics I7
(Our Top Pick Zero-Gravity Massage Chair Review)

Irobotics i7 chair - black

 

iRobotics I7 is simply the ultimate chair on the and it’s proudly designed and assembled in Dallas, Texas by Luraco Technologies. Luraco is a military contractor that decided to diversify their spectrum of products and started to make robotic chairs and other goods for health and beauty industry.

Main features of iRobotics i7:

  • Dual 3D roller with 5-level adjustable intensity and 32’’ S-track length. Intensity can be customized in neck and lower back independently. For example, if your lower back hurts and you want rollers work on the area gentler, you can set up lower strength for back and higher strength for neck. It is the first model that allows you to do that.
  • Double Foot Rollers with three-tiered airbag and heat will give a really thorough massage to your legs.
  • 100 Airbags are able firmly but smoothly massage your whole body from tips of your fingers to ends of your toes. Air massage strength can be adjusted too.
  • Adjustable Heat in Lumbar Area, Seat and Feet Area. Heat level also can be customized independently in different parts.
  • Zero Gravity helps to relief tension in lower back, evenly distribute your weight, and give your body chance to rejuvenate.
  • Body Stretching helps you to decompress your spine in a unique way. This model has two position feet stretching and body swivel with twist stretching.
  • Body-scan Technology – it will map your spine to provide with customized massage, which hit the “right” place with each movement.
  • 9 Automatic Programs to choose from.

automatic modes list

  • Memory Settings for Up to 5 Users – You can create and save your perfect session as well as other four members of your family.
  • Touch Screen Remote Control– the most user friendly remote control in the industry that looks very much as your smartphone and works on powerful OS developed by Luraco Technologies.remote control
  • Mp3 Music System – iRobotics i7 has built in mp3 player and speakers with ultra-clean sound. You can use preloaded music or your favorite list of songs.
  • Voice Response System– right from the future, chair which can understand you in English, Spanish, French, German, Japanese, Korean or Vietnamese.
  • Quiet operation – it is the quietest robotic chair on market. And who wants too much noise when trying to relax.
  • Genuine leather touch points – all iRobotics7 made in genuine leather in places your body touches the recliner (Head, Arms, Shoulders, and Feet). This guarantee that it will look good for longer, as PVC leather tend to crack or discolor faster. In other chairs genuine leather usually is available as premium option and those recliners are not always in stock.
  • Ottoman Leg Length Adjustment– By extending or retraction ottoman length can accommodate person from 4’7’’ to 6’7’’ height.
  • Good Warranty and After-sale Support – Luraco Technologies offers better than most 3-year in-home labor warranty, and 5-year warranty on parts and structural frame, as well as the best customer and after-sale support. Plus it has commercial warranty, 6 months for labor and 1 year for parts, that very few chair massager manufacturers offer.
  • Additional Health Monitoring System– Because Luraco is the first registered with FDA medical chair, you have an option to add heart rate monitor and blood measuring equipment. And to see with your own eyes research proving positive effects of on heart rate and blood pressure.
  • Easy to Assemble – this Luraco chair is very easy to assemble even by the most unexpirienced customer. Though, white-glove delivery is always available.
  • Color options – available in three colors: cream, chocolate and black.

Now that you know all main features, lets briefly compare it with other chairs of the same level.

Let’s start with rollers. It has 3D rollers, the only chairs that have more advanced rollers are Osaki OS-4D JP Pro and Fujiiryoki EC-3800. As both of those Kiwami mecha 4D rollers that are 3D rollers with speed control. And you can’t control rollers speed in Luraco i7.

This Luraco model has S-track that won’t reach your thigh area completely, unlike 49’’ long L-track of Infinity Iyashi. But Luraco’s S-track is the longest S-track in the industry, so it’s still better than all other S-track models.

Another thing about it – is that it plays music from SD card. It requires you to put your favorite music on the card prior you can enjoy it. Unlike Infinity Iyashi that can connect through Bluetooth directly to your phone, and play music you have there.

Luraco iRobotics7 also requires a whole 27 inches from the wall to operate smoothly, it’s higher than most for the most chairs, not talking about Infinity Iyashi, which require only 1 inch of space.

But this is it, in all other features and parameters Luraco iRobotics 7 is an absolute winner. You won’t find another model that has so many cool and advanced features combined with quality and reliability.

And if you’re a US citizen, think that by buying US made, you support American economy and creating new jobs.

Check out our whole massage chair guide at: http://www.wellnessgeeky.com/best-massage-chair

Original post Here: Luraco Irobotics I7 Review (Best Chair in 2017)

Qi SE Cozzia USA Model Should Hit The Market in May 2017

Cozzia USA, a supplier of robotic massage technology, announced that it is unveiling the newest Qi SE massage chair. The Qi SE was designed to imitate a full body massage experience that reaches more spots than any other modern models. Cozzia delivered superior products in the past. The Qi SE promise to provide a superior massage and cover every part of the person’s body to promote rejuvenation and circulation.

“Cozzia is extremely excited about launching the Qi SE at the upcoming April market,” says Bob Bruns, President of Cozzia USA. “This chair will change the landscape of the massag chair market in the US”. The Qi SE will be shown for the first time at the High Point Furniture Market (Furniture Plaza 515).

Here is some features as described in Cozzia USA Debuts Qi SE press release:

The Cozzia Qi SE massage chair will be the first 4D L-Track in the Cozzia lineup. With an L-Track design the Qi SE is able to massage the entire length of your back, from your neck down to under your glutes. To create the full body massage experience, the Qi SE has a customizable complete leg massage – in addition to sole rollers and foot and calf compression, the Qi SE has heated knee compression massage that is adjustable to massage the upper calf as well.

To utilize and intensify the benefits of Chromotherapy, the Qi SE has upgraded mood lighting that we call “Chromotherapy 2.0”. This LED lighting that is positioned in the headrest of the Qi SE provides color therapy through patterns of varying colors. The Qi SE also features rollers that are equipped with heat so that the user can have precise heat therapy in the spot they need it most. Other features of the Qi SE include: a touch pad remote control, bluetooth speakers for playing music, 60 airbags for full body air compression, the ability to create and save a custom program, and the zero gravity position.

As written by https://www.massage-chair-review.com:

The Qi SE features rich styling with beautiful stitching and a very comfortable feel to the plush seat. To operate the chair you have the Cozzia touchpad with all of the functions easily accessible right on the screen for easy navigation through the various programs and adjustments. The chair will give you the option to create and save your various preferences to get you to relaxation in seconds. Most chairs will require you to manually adjust the chair, making the quick one touch access a great function to have.

Watch this video from CNET to get a feel on features, look and pricing of a new QI SE model:

Furniture Today describes additional features:

In addition to the 4D L-Track technology, Cozzia’s newest chair can deliver a full body massage using 60 airbags, customizable leg massage that includes foot and calf compression, heated knee compression massage that’s adjustable to the upper calf and sole rollers.

Heated rollers offer spot-specific heat therapy.

This newest chair offers Chromatherapy 2.0, an upgraded LED light positioned in the headrest to provide color therapy through patterns of varying colors. Other features include a zero-gravity position, touch pad remote control, Bluetooth-enabled speakers, and the ability to create and save custom program.

The Qi SE retails for $6,999 and will be available at select retailers in four color variations. It has the design aesthetics and profile of the Qi, which launched last year, and is a scaled down version without the Qi’s signature Chair Doctor technology of 4D body scanning and tension score feedback.

Here is the official video from Cozzia:

To find out more about top rated chairs check out this guide at: http://www.wellnessgeeky.com/best-massage-chair

Read Full Article Here: Qi SE Cozzia USA Model Should Hit The Market in May 2017

Your Dreams Are Probably Stupid And Nobody Cares (That’s a Good Thing)

Your Dreams Are Probably Stupid And Nobody Cares (That’s a Good Thing)

When I was a little kid, I had an idea about what the afterlife would involve.

I thought that after I died, I’d go to some place where a bunch of people, sort of like the chorus in a Greek tragedy, would show me film reels of my most embarrassing and uncool moments — picking my nose on the toilet, the time I farted in my boss’ face, that sort of thing.

It would be an epic circus of my humiliation, painstakingly documented by — who? minor deities? accountants of Hell? all the boys I ever had an awkward crush on? My immature theology was never quite clear on that.

The concept here is that some group of people is watching my every move, cataloguing it for posterity, and really really caring about it.

That sounds dumb, of course.

But isn’t that how we act when it comes to our own self-image?

I mean, isn’t that just basically Twitter, Instagram, and sharing all your workouts to Facebook?

Many of us at some point have operated with the core beliefs that:

  • We are being closely observed.
  • We are being closely observed by people who really, really care.
  • The people who really, really care are judgmental as shit.
  • We really, really care that they really, really care.
  • So we have to act in ways that don’t let those people find any flaws. We must be perfect, lest this committee make us sit in a plastic folding chair with our eyes propped open, watching footage of that time we fucked up a Powerpoint and pooped our pants.

Many years ago, every time I worked out, I’d imagine a group of Stumptuous readers tsk-tsking.

“How can she have such a lousy squat?”

“Yes, her butt does look terrible in those pants… and in all pants ever invented.”

“What a poser.”

To be clear, I was working out alone.

By myself.

Invisible to the internet (yes, youngsters, there was a time when that was possible).

Nobody cared about my dreams.

Nobody cared whether I was a bodybuilder or a powerlifter, good at bench pressing, whether I was doing 3 sets of 5 or 5 sets of 3, what % of my 1RM I was using, or what I had for lunch.

For that matter, nobody cared about my cellulite angst, my squat numbers (or any other numbers), my weight, my butt’s shape / size / dimensions / aesthetic correctness, or any other trivial detail of my life.

Unless maybe I stepped on their foot on the subway or played my music too loud or cut them off in traffic, then other people briefly cared about how my trajectory might be interfering with theirs. Until they didn’t care again.

And yet I acted like they cared.

I acted and thought like everyone cared. Deeply.

I acted and thought like the rest of the world was arguing about my relative merits in the same way that old men around the world argue about football on smoky Sunday afternoons in the local café — passionately, with excruciating attention to errors, narratively needlepointing every fine detail of every stat and movement, gesticulating to indicate displeasure with fingers stabbing into the air.

I acted and thought like everyone gave a huge wet-burrito shit about all of it. All of me. All of my life.

My dreams. My worries. My thoughts.

Like my life was some Truman Show with cameras everywhere, even inside my brain.

But it’s not.

Now to be clear, I don’t mean I am alone and unloved.

I’m not hurtling isolated on this bald blue planet through space, silently weeping because there is no God and I can’t address my thank-you letters for a sunny day to any particular cosmic customer service representative.

Well, there is no God, and saying “thank you physics for the photons” doesn’t quite have the same thrill, but the fact that 7 billion people in the world aren’t breathlessly hitting “refresh” to find out what amazing thing I am doing doesn’t mean I live in some nihilist cave.

I’m surrounded by caring friends and family, by people who are interested in what I have to say, and do, and who I am, and my opinions on Manchego cheese (delicious), the Middle East (I can’t even) or Saul Bellow (literary genius).

It’s just that what they love, care about, and are interested in has nothing to do with all the stuff I thought was important.

Stuff like:

  • How much weight I could lift (or not).
  • How fast I could run (or waddle).
  • How high I could jump (ha).
  • My clothing size.
  • My weight.
  • My (in)visible abs.
  • Whether I was doing X style workout or Y style.
  • Whether I was eating X diet or Y diet or not at all.
  • Whether I had been “bad” or “good”.
  • Whether I had accomplished my desired number of reps and sets.
  • Whether I had trained my core, or my posterior chain, or my stability, and exactly which method I used.

In fact, talking and worrying about all of the above, or related topics, makes you boring as shit. (Even to people who love you dearly and think the way you say “refrigerator” is delightful.)

In North America, we have a particular conceit. Which is:

We think our dreams are intrinsically valuable because they are our dreams.

If other people critique our dreams, or don’t care about our dreams, or don’t give us the right reaction when we grandly announce that we are following our dreams, we think they are hatin-ass morons who don’t care about our dreams.

Which they should! Because those are our dreams! All dreams are good and amazing and beautiful and worthy of slackjawed wondrous awe!

Stop and think about that for a moment.

Demanding unwavering allegiance to the correctness of dreams is what toddlers do.

Children are fundamentally egocentric. They have no context or comparison. Their small world is everything.

They will build an elaborate fort, announce that it is a spaceship, and scream you straight to hell if you tell them that it’s just a bunch of stupid pillows. You’d better buy in to that pillow ship, my friend.

Now, of course, in children, this is delightful.

I love watching kids create imaginary universes and live them. They encourage all of us cynically defeated adult bastards to believe in magic, if only for a few moments.

I also think imagination is a grand thing in general. I have a solid roster of mental adventure stories, starring myself as a pirate ninja sharpshooter acrobat popstar brain surgeon… or whatever.

But I don’t mix up imagination with reality.

Here’s what mixing up a child’s imagination with adult reality looks like.

  • You worry about being “good”. Or “bad”.
  • If you are “good”, it’s mostly for show. And doesn’t last. (Ta daaaa! Aren’t I behaving so much better than my little sister right now?)
  • If you are “bad”, you make confessions on the internet. (OMG! Here’s what I ate! Soooo naughty! Teehee!)
  • You think that magic is real — that there is a fairy-dusted mixture of sets and reps and macronutrients that unlocks the special door to Buffland.
  • You demand that all of us look at you! Look at you! Oh my goodness! You lifted like a big girl! So strong!
  • Oh dear! You did not lift as much weight as you wanted! So sad! You should punish yourself! You should have a tantrum!
  • You confuse a given outcome with intrinsic value — an “A” on your spelling test, a gold star for being a good girl, a pat on the head for nice cursive writing, a high-five for your bathroom selfie.

If this isn’t you, and right now you’re chain-smoking Marlboros, leafing through your mutual fund reports, and chuckling in a growly Joan Crawford voice about how you just can’t be arsed to care about anything — congratulations. Enjoy your eccentric, very grown-up performance artist / sociopathic life.

The truth is:

We all have a little bit of small child in our brains.

Most of us want there to be magic.

Most of us want other people to love us and give us gold stars.

Most of us want to perform well.

Most of us want to play by the social rules and win the game.

Most of us don’t want to be ostracized, “get in trouble”, or be the group weirdo.

Most of us probably just need some juice, a cuddle, and a nap.

That’s normal.

We shouldn’t kill off our imaginations.

Again, pirate ninja sharpshooter acrobat popstar brain surgeon. 900 degree Tony Hawk spin!

Rad, right?

We should, however, learn to distinguish child-brain from adult-brain.

And this includes getting clear about what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, and where reality will impose natural and necessary limitations on us.

Think about it this way.

Imagine a 4-square grid.

One dimension is “ego-gratifying”. This runs from “completely self-centered” to “selfless”.

The second dimension is “realistic”. This runs from “could do it right now, now problem” to “you have to break the laws of space and time to make this happen”.

So you can have basically 4 types of things (with lots of stuff in between along a continuum, of course).

  1. Ego-gratifying and unrealistic. Basically you winning the world and having everyone notice. Awesome to imagine; don’t try executing any of these things seriously unless you want to become an obsessive, frustrated a-hole and have crying jags because you can’t free-dive a kilometre or walk around at 5% bodyfat all the time.
  2. Ego-gratifying and realistic. Everyone needs a little bit of this one in their lives. But not too much. Maybe 10-20% of your activities and effort should live here.
  3. Non-ego-gratifying and unrealistic. “World peace” and “Save all the whales” usually lives in here, unless “Save the whales” is really about you building some environmentalist empire, which is not that crazy if you see How To Change The World and realize that social movements involve a lot more dick-waving than you’d expect. Any genital waving bumps it back up to Category 1. Actually Category 3 is sneakily a lot like Category 1. If you’re a coach / trainer “just trying to help” by berating or pushing your clients in a noble martyred struggle against ignorance and sloth, you may think you’re #3 when you’re really #1.
  4. Non-ego-gratifying and realistic. This is where most of your life should be if you want to be happy, sane, and functional. Of course, we’re not looking for complete self-erasure here in Category 4, or some weird trippy Zen state where you serenely declare that all is all.

So what lives in Category 4 — non-ego-gratifying and realistic?

Empathy and compassion — helping other people in ways that they genuinely need and want, as well as having compassion for yourself.

Intrinsic mastery — learning skills that you truly enjoy and find useful, slowly and consistently.

Beginner’s mind — being open to new ideas, learning, expanding your worldview, and being coached.

Seeking, getting, and taking feedback — using data, information, and the evidence of experience to make decisions.

Scientific reasoning — looking at evidence, thinking critically, avoiding magical leaps of logic.

Showing up for practice — just showing up. Plain old showing up. Being there. Putting in the reps. Doing what needs to be done. Not looking for shortcuts; realizing that the practice is the point.

Enjoying things for their own sake — having fun, playing, simply being present.

OK, look, I don’t mean to be a downer.

Living in the non-ego-gratifying real world is awesome.

You’re truly free.

If you know your dreams are silly and that nobody cares about them, YOU get to decide whether you try to manifest them.

YOU get to decide whether they’re worth giving a shit about.

YOU get to decide whether they should live in your head (yay) or live outside (yay), and you know the difference between what’s inside and outside.

If you know your dreams are silly, but you really want to do something, you can choose to replace them with less-silly ones. Get coaching and feedback from people who have the objective expertise to help you, and don’t pout when they guide you gently towards reality.

If you know your dreams are silly and you do them anyway, recognizing that they are utterly ridiculous and probably won’t amount to shit, we call that fun. We call that a hobby. Or an eccentricity. Silly pointless goofing around is how disc golf, extreme ironing, and Roomba Pong got invented. None of it was needed, but it sure does spice up life.

Pointless antics often form the fountain of creativity, as long as you don’t take them too seriously. (Check out the Stupid Shit No-One Needs and Terrible Ideas Hackathon.)

If you know that nobody cares, we also call that fun. Because play can’t be too concerned with the audience.

Most of the time, nobody is judging you because they’re too caught up in their own paranoia about their own embarrassing afterlife blooper reel.

You’re completely liberated from the weight of other people’s imaginary shit-giving.

Even if they are judging you, it’s cursory. It’s a brief blip before they return to their own rumination. So, no harm no foul.

What would you do if there was no “measuring up”?

If there was no social scrutiny?

No Truman Show cameras?

What would you do if, figuratively, you were alone in all the very best ways — the delicious kind of aloneness where you can wear your jammies with the peanut butter stains, and sing I Will Survive in your loudest voice, and pee with the door open, and be like Tom Cruise in Risky Business? That kind of dance-like-nobody’s-watching feeling?

Take that feeling, and bring it along with you wherever you go.

You don’t have to be alone and drunk-dancing in your underwear to feel it. You can choose to feel it anywhere, any time.

You can nurture that feeling of fundamental freedom and fun in any environment, with any pursuit.

There’s no final exam. There are no judges. There are few rules besides reality requiring that you face it.

And if you fuck it up, well… if there’s no God, there’s probably also no film crew.

 

Me and some peeps from my boxing class, so concerned with serious appearances and impressing people.

Original Article:  Your Dreams Are Probably Stupid And Nobody Cares

Your Dreams Are Probably Stupid And Nobody Cares (That’s a Good Thing)

When I was a little kid, I had an idea about what the afterlife would involve.

I thought that after I died, I’d go to some place where a bunch of people, sort of like the chorus in a Greek tragedy, would show me film reels of my most embarrassing and uncool moments — picking my nose on the toilet, the time I farted in my boss’ face, that sort of thing.

It would be an epic circus of my humiliation, painstakingly documented by — who? minor deities? accountants of Hell? all the boys I ever had an awkward crush on? My immature theology was never quite clear on that.

The concept here is that some group of people is watching my every move, cataloguing it for posterity, and really really caring about it.

That sounds dumb, of course.

But isn’t that how we act when it comes to our own self-image?

I mean, isn’t that just basically Twitter, Instagram, and sharing all your workouts to Facebook?

Many of us at some point have operated with the core beliefs that:

  • We are being closely observed.
  • We are being closely observed by people who really, really care.
  • The people who really, really care are judgmental as shit.
  • We really, really care that they really, really care.
  • So we have to act in ways that don’t let those people find any flaws. We must be perfect, lest this committee make us sit in a plastic folding chair with our eyes propped open, watching footage of that time we fucked up a Powerpoint and pooped our pants.

Many years ago, every time I worked out, I’d imagine a group of Stumptuous readers tsk-tsking.

“How can she have such a lousy squat?”

“Yes, her butt does look terrible in those pants… and in all pants ever invented.”

“What a poser.”

To be clear, I was working out alone.

By myself.

Invisible to the internet (yes, youngsters, there was a time when that was possible).

Nobody cared about my dreams.

Nobody cared whether I was a bodybuilder or a powerlifter, good at bench pressing, whether I was doing 3 sets of 5 or 5 sets of 3, what % of my 1RM I was using, or what I had for lunch.

For that matter, nobody cared about my cellulite angst, my squat numbers (or any other numbers), my weight, my butt’s shape / size / dimensions / aesthetic correctness, or any other trivial detail of my life.

Unless maybe I stepped on their foot on the subway or played my music too loud or cut them off in traffic, then other people briefly cared about how my trajectory might be interfering with theirs. Until they didn’t care again.

And yet I acted like they cared.

I acted and thought like everyone cared. Deeply.

I acted and thought like the rest of the world was arguing about my relative merits in the same way that old men around the world argue about football on smoky Sunday afternoons in the local café — passionately, with excruciating attention to errors, narratively needlepointing every fine detail of every stat and movement, gesticulating to indicate displeasure with fingers stabbing into the air.

I acted and thought like everyone gave a huge wet-burrito shit about all of it. All of me. All of my life.

My dreams. My worries. My thoughts.

Like my life was some Truman Show with cameras everywhere, even inside my brain.

But it’s not.

Now to be clear, I don’t mean I am alone and unloved.

I’m not hurtling isolated on this bald blue planet through space, silently weeping because there is no God and I can’t address my thank-you letters for a sunny day to any particular cosmic customer service representative.

Well, there is no God, and saying “thank you physics for the photons” doesn’t quite have the same thrill, but the fact that 7 billion people in the world aren’t breathlessly hitting “refresh” to find out what amazing thing I am doing doesn’t mean I live in some nihilist cave.

I’m surrounded by caring friends and family, by people who are interested in what I have to say, and do, and who I am, and my opinions on Manchego cheese (delicious), the Middle East (I can’t even) or Saul Bellow (literary genius).

It’s just that what they love, care about, and are interested in has nothing to do with all the stuff I thought was important.

Stuff like:

  • How much weight I could lift (or not).
  • How fast I could run (or waddle).
  • How high I could jump (ha).
  • My clothing size.
  • My weight.
  • My (in)visible abs.
  • Whether I was doing X style workout or Y style.
  • Whether I was eating X diet or Y diet or not at all.
  • Whether I had been “bad” or “good”.
  • Whether I had accomplished my desired number of reps and sets.
  • Whether I had trained my core, or my posterior chain, or my stability, and exactly which method I used.

In fact, talking and worrying about all of the above, or related topics, makes you boring as shit. (Even to people who love you dearly and think the way you say “refrigerator” is delightful.)

In North America, we have a particular conceit. Which is:

We think our dreams are intrinsically valuable because they are our dreams.

If other people critique our dreams, or don’t care about our dreams, or don’t give us the right reaction when we grandly announce that we are following our dreams, we think they are hatin-ass morons who don’t care about our dreams.

Which they should! Because those are our dreams! All dreams are good and amazing and beautiful and worthy of slackjawed wondrous awe!

Stop and think about that for a moment.

Demanding unwavering allegiance to the correctness of dreams is what toddlers do.

Children are fundamentally egocentric. They have no context or comparison. Their small world is everything.

They will build an elaborate fort, announce that it is a spaceship, and scream you straight to hell if you tell them that it’s just a bunch of stupid pillows. You’d better buy in to that pillow ship, my friend.

Now, of course, in children, this is delightful.

I love watching kids create imaginary universes and live them. They encourage all of us cynically defeated adult bastards to believe in magic, if only for a few moments.

I also think imagination is a grand thing in general. I have a solid roster of mental adventure stories, starring myself as a pirate ninja sharpshooter acrobat popstar brain surgeon… or whatever.

But I don’t mix up imagination with reality.

Here’s what mixing up a child’s imagination with adult reality looks like.

  • You worry about being “good”. Or “bad”.
  • If you are “good”, it’s mostly for show. And doesn’t last. (Ta daaaa! Aren’t I behaving so much better than my little sister right now?)
  • If you are “bad”, you make confessions on the internet. (OMG! Here’s what I ate! Soooo naughty! Teehee!)
  • You think that magic is real — that there is a fairy-dusted mixture of sets and reps and macronutrients that unlocks the special door to Buffland.
  • You demand that all of us look at you! Look at you! Oh my goodness! You lifted like a big girl! So strong!
  • Oh dear! You did not lift as much weight as you wanted! So sad! You should punish yourself! You should have a tantrum!
  • You confuse a given outcome with intrinsic value — an “A” on your spelling test, a gold star for being a good girl, a pat on the head for nice cursive writing, a high-five for your bathroom selfie.

If this isn’t you, and right now you’re chain-smoking Marlboros, leafing through your mutual fund reports, and chuckling in a growly Joan Crawford voice about how you just can’t be arsed to care about anything — congratulations. Enjoy your eccentric, very grown-up performance artist / sociopathic life.

The truth is:

We all have a little bit of small child in our brains.

Most of us want there to be magic.

Most of us want other people to love us and give us gold stars.

Most of us want to perform well.

Most of us want to play by the social rules and win the game.

Most of us don’t want to be ostracized, “get in trouble”, or be the group weirdo.

Most of us probably just need some juice, a cuddle, and a nap.

That’s normal.

We shouldn’t kill off our imaginations.

Again, pirate ninja sharpshooter acrobat popstar brain surgeon. 900 degree Tony Hawk spin!

Rad, right?

We should, however, learn to distinguish child-brain from adult-brain.

And this includes getting clear about what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, and where reality will impose natural and necessary limitations on us.

Think about it this way.

Imagine a 4-square grid.

One dimension is “ego-gratifying”. This runs from “completely self-centered” to “selfless”.

The second dimension is “realistic”. This runs from “could do it right now, now problem” to “you have to break the laws of space and time to make this happen”.

So you can have basically 4 types of things (with lots of stuff in between along a continuum, of course).

  1. Ego-gratifying and unrealistic. Basically you winning the world and having everyone notice. Awesome to imagine; don’t try executing any of these things seriously unless you want to become an obsessive, frustrated a-hole and have crying jags because you can’t free-dive a kilometre or walk around at 5% bodyfat all the time.
  2. Ego-gratifying and realistic. Everyone needs a little bit of this one in their lives. But not too much. Maybe 10-20% of your activities and effort should live here.
  3. Non-ego-gratifying and unrealistic. “World peace” and “Save all the whales” usually lives in here, unless “Save the whales” is really about you building some environmentalist empire, which is not that crazy if you see How To Change The World and realize that social movements involve a lot more dick-waving than you’d expect. Any genital waving bumps it back up to Category 1. Actually Category 3 is sneakily a lot like Category 1. If you’re a coach / trainer “just trying to help” by berating or pushing your clients in a noble martyred struggle against ignorance and sloth, you may think you’re #3 when you’re really #1.
  4. Non-ego-gratifying and realistic. This is where most of your life should be if you want to be happy, sane, and functional. Of course, we’re not looking for complete self-erasure here in Category 4, or some weird trippy Zen state where you serenely declare that all is all.

So what lives in Category 4 — non-ego-gratifying and realistic?

Empathy and compassion — helping other people in ways that they genuinely need and want, as well as having compassion for yourself.

Intrinsic mastery — learning skills that you truly enjoy and find useful, slowly and consistently.

Beginner’s mind — being open to new ideas, learning, expanding your worldview, and being coached.

Seeking, getting, and taking feedback — using data, information, and the evidence of experience to make decisions.

Scientific reasoning — looking at evidence, thinking critically, avoiding magical leaps of logic.

Showing up for practice — just showing up. Plain old showing up. Being there. Putting in the reps. Doing what needs to be done. Not looking for shortcuts; realizing that the practice is the point.

Enjoying things for their own sake — having fun, playing, simply being present.

OK, look, I don’t mean to be a downer.

Living in the non-ego-gratifying real world is awesome.

You’re truly free.

If you know your dreams are silly and that nobody cares about them, YOU get to decide whether you try to manifest them.

YOU get to decide whether they’re worth giving a shit about.

YOU get to decide whether they should live in your head (yay) or live outside (yay), and you know the difference between what’s inside and outside.

If you know your dreams are silly, but you really want to do something, you can choose to replace them with less-silly ones. Get coaching and feedback from people who have the objective expertise to help you, and don’t pout when they guide you gently towards reality.

If you know your dreams are silly and you do them anyway, recognizing that they are utterly ridiculous and probably won’t amount to shit, we call that fun. We call that a hobby. Or an eccentricity. Silly pointless goofing around is how disc golf, extreme ironing, and Roomba Pong got invented. None of it was needed, but it sure does spice up life.

Pointless antics often form the fountain of creativity, as long as you don’t take them too seriously. (Check out the Stupid Shit No-One Needs and Terrible Ideas Hackathon.)

If you know that nobody cares, we also call that fun. Because play can’t be too concerned with the audience.

Most of the time, nobody is judging you because they’re too caught up in their own paranoia about their own embarrassing afterlife blooper reel.

You’re completely liberated from the weight of other people’s imaginary shit-giving.

Even if they are judging you, it’s cursory. It’s a brief blip before they return to their own rumination. So, no harm no foul.

What would you do if there was no “measuring up”?

If there was no social scrutiny?

No Truman Show cameras?

What would you do if, figuratively, you were alone in all the very best ways — the delicious kind of aloneness where you can wear your jammies with the peanut butter stains, and sing I Will Survive in your loudest voice, and pee with the door open, and be like Tom Cruise in Risky Business? That kind of dance-like-nobody’s-watching feeling?

Take that feeling, and bring it along with you wherever you go.

You don’t have to be alone and drunk-dancing in your underwear to feel it. You can choose to feel it anywhere, any time.

You can nurture that feeling of fundamental freedom and fun in any environment, with any pursuit.

There’s no final exam. There are no judges. There are few rules besides reality requiring that you face it.

And if you fuck it up, well… if there’s no God, there’s probably also no film crew.

 

Me and some peeps from my boxing class, so concerned with serious appearances and impressing people.

Original Article:  Your Dreams Are Probably Stupid And Nobody Cares